It's about a half hour till the new year! I haven't had time to reflect over the past year... but I just feel that perhaps it went by a tad too fast. Not that I'm sad to see this year gone... I just feel kind of... apprehensive stepping into the new year, the new decade. :/ Seems like just a couple of days ago that we were celebrating the new year and all with 2009, so happy and hopeful, but look how that turned out.

I suddenly started to hum the melody of Fire Escape by Adam Crossley again. It's just too good. Melancholy is how I'm feeling right now. Why? Probably because I just watched this local-made telemovie which made me feel hopeful in our media industry again. :) Directly translated from Chinese, it's the Promise of the Sunflower. It's pretty good, and the male lead reminds me of Thomas Ong for some weird reason. If only for our Locvid, we came up with this kind of standard!!! It made me cry. I want to make people cry.

The official December 25th is over, but is the Christmas spirit still in the air? I guess it is so for some of us, but less so for me. I've never really felt Christmas-sy during Christmas... maybe it's because I relate it with snow and Christmas trees, but I didn't get to have either...? Haha.

But at least we spent it with family, while Dad was in Japan working. He's still there! >:(

And I feel like every day I waste is a day that I will live to regret. It's such a scary feeling because I can literally feel time slipping through my fingers like the sand in the hourglass that I saw at Orchard Central.

I was at Orchard Central yesterday to meet up with my "lovely chums" as Canida would've put it! Canida, Dawn, Ting ting and moi! :) We had Quiznos for lunch!! Expensive but totally delicious! :D

They got me a belated birthday present! Awww. :)

& after I met up with my relatives, but it was so crowded they decided to go back after I joined them... but we went out for dinner after!

I got to sit in our new car for the first time ever wooo!! It was such an exhilarating experience, makes me want to learn driving! AHAHA. Maybe I shall.

Got to Turf City to eat Indonesian food (Yum yum!) & then we left for home.

Boxing Day was spent that way. Didn't even touch the computer the whole day! >:o

Gotta love my cousins <3

Christmas Eve seems like a good time to stay at home curled up by the computer, blogging about one's fun-filled life! I make it sound so awesome, when it's actually not.

So Tuesday I went to school for Radio practice, and ended up getting wayyyy over-analytic... because I didn't know what songs I wanted to use. That radio practice took up 4 hours of my time, and Ky and I went for lunch at Makan Place after. Decided to head to town to watch New Moon on a whim hahaha. Shaw had tickets, and we were early, so we ended up buying popcorn. I wish we got a mix of sweet and salted instead of just all sweet. It was too much to bear after a while.

New Moon... wasn't THAT bad, wasn't THAT great, I'll conclude it that way. I don't see anything that really made me cringe, oh except for that Bella being a vampire thing... so totally incongruous and redundant ahahaha. It reminded me of the Entertainment Weekly cover they took, where it was grossly white and shit.->
I think that scene probably spoiled the whole movie for me. Jacob and his eight-pack abs saved quite a bit of the movie as well. BUT thing is after you look at Jacob's abs, once you see Edward's chest, you'll feel disgusted and think that they both cannot be compared at all. But overall it didn't do much for me.


Wednesday, being the last day Hillary was in town, met up with her with my sis to go shopping. Had to go to uncle's house to fetch her, and then sat a bus to Suntec. Ho ho ho. Ate at Astons haha, instead of NewYorkNewYork. :D

Then we walked around, slowly, and ended up at Marina Square, where there was a MNG sale, wooo. Almost bought the whole store but no la, only bought one piece aahahahha. :D Had fun though!


Then we headed to CityLink NewYorkNewYork because I promised her that I'd take her to eat the waffles. Got free candy floss too ahahahaha. :D Haven't eaten candy floss in a super long time. I think I've forgotten how it actually melts in your mouth as soon as it touches the tongue. WOOO.

Forgot to take picture of waffle. :(

After, we just walked a while around Raffles City and went home. She got picked up round 8 by my uncle, and that was the farewell. :(





Today, I woke up, it was raining, which was pretty awesome! & the morning went by, the afternoon went by... and Christmas dinner at my aunt's place. Turkey, ham, potatoes! I think the potatoes were awesome, the sauce~~~ must get the recipe!

Anyway, got a present too, eep. We never really do gift exchanges, this year is pretty weird...because we didn't prepare gifts... All take and no give? :/

Ah okay, I'm boring everyone to tears. BUT let's all have a MERRY CHRISTMAS & may 2010 bring more joy than this bleak 09 can. :D

xx

I had Japanese for dinner on Sunday. It was really filling. Like, really really filling. You know when you get the chicken cutlet, you would only get 1 large cutlet? They gave 2 cutlets. *bloated and drowns* Ha, but it was after picking my sis up from her new school location. It's pretty near Jurong Point!

I'm still dilly-dallying away.

Today I reached school, with a really really painful headache, because the bus was really cold and I didn't have enough sleep. Met with Dawn to hand up podcast, and then headed to radio studio. I still haven't settled on what songs to put... I don't even know what show I'll be doing yet. Tsk... I should really start planning it soon.

Then it was the design workshop. I think we got pretty good tips from that workshop! :D
I really need to talk to my groupmates more, get to know them better... just... step up man! :(

Oh, and we got the new car today! Cool number plate! SJU! :D

OH MY GOD!
Don't you think this series of promos for Glee is just AWESOME?!






Woo! Finn, Will, Kurt & Puck! :D The series is just so freaking awesome, with various covers of popular and oldie songs in one episode! :) It always manages to surprise and wow me. The storyline is somewhat quirky and fast-paced, so viewers are not bored easily! :D

GO GLEE!!! I'm a Gleek!

xx

What a week this has been! You know how the week before the so-called holidays start are always filled with anticipation, trepidation and just plain-old exhaustion? That was probably the mix of emotions I have been feeling up until now.

Projects due, projects yet to be due but about to be due... I am going crazy just thinking about it all!

Wednesday: Left for school early to work on the podcast. Managed to get underway, and then it was time for Radio. Radio was scary as hell. I haven't had time to practice on the dalet, so I don't know if my edits and shizzle will be good. BUT, I actually like the module, so I'm going to work hard!!! :D

Then had to go down to Nanyang Poly all the way in Yio Chu Kang to interview a couple of people for the podcast. Nanyang Poly is HUGE. HUGE. HUGE. freaking huge. & our interviews went pretty well, so I'm not so worried for that story. Then had to make our way to North Point in Yishun Starbucks to interview yet another guy. Was late when I came back and all. Mom and Dad already went into Malaysia for grandma's death anniversary. It's sad that I couldn't go. I was pretty much feeling less funky those few days as well.

The next few days probably were made rushing out the podcast and whatnot. It's a done deal right now, but I don't feel so hot about it. Anyway, it's past. I need to focus on what is ahead of me.

Oh, and my cousin came down on Tuesday? Yes Tuesday night.
Thursday I ended up sleeping really late because I was editing the podcast. 4am, I shouldn't have! I was probably excited as well, since I actually BOUGHT Paramore tickets using my ATM card! Yes, my ATM card. I used it for the first time that day. Was actually on edge the whole day because I didn't have a credit card and I thought the tickets would be sold out in a flash. But it hasn't, so good!  Dad ended up sending his deets to my sister who thought it was a car number plate which was kind of amusing. hahahaha.
ANDDD... since I didn't get it, I rushed down after class ended to Vivo to buy the tickets! Standing pen, 7th March 2010, Singapore Indoor Stadium I'll be there!!!



WOOO. Then I just read today in the papers that Boys Like Girls will be coming to Singapore as well on the 28th of January for a gig at Resorts World Sentosa.... GREAT.
I've been spending WAYYYYYY too much this few weeks. Must learn to curb spending habit! I'm becoming a spendthrift!! So unlike me. & the thing is, now that I know how to use my ATM card, I probably just opened another black hole. Hohohohoooonooooo.

Friday I woke up late, like 11.30am, to the sound of my name. I thought I was dreaming, but then I suddenly remembered Hillary was supposed to come! OHMYGOD. So I rushed out and saw her waiting at the door... (she was waiting and calling my name hahaha, for about 10 minutes!) It was so hilarious afterward! :) Accompanied her the whole day, taking her to Bugis for lunch, then headed to Orchard and 313@Somerset etc etc. Doing things we normally do. Starbuck-ed and then came home.

Now I know what it's like to drink too much coffee. I normally am unaffected by the prowess of caffeine, but now I'm staying up way too late because I can't sleep.

Enough of Starbucks, methinks, for this week!

hahaha.

Okay, peace. I'm going to enjoy my day today, then start work later!

Today I got a birthday present from the gang. Aiyoooooo, they keep making me open it, wear it to show everybody... but you know me. Shy shy la! So I didn't.

But it's so cooooool! I love it la okay!!! :D Thank you many many for the present! :) I know I probably sounded pretty sad or something today, I was just tired after sleeping the whole way to school on the bus. Disorientated even.

Now am listening to Fahrenheit on the radio. What have I become?! :)

xx

Awesome cover of Pokerface, Brit-indie-pop at its best I think!! :)
Who knew an electro-pop song can be covered in this way?! Definitely gives me hope!

Anyway, I'm starting to freak out about school work and all. ALL THE DEADLINES ARE SO CLOSE!!!! I'm so so so so so so on edge right now. & me and my big mouth.

But the thing is, I'm unable to start anything right now... because the time doesn't feel right? Because I'm too frozen to start? I don't know what is stopping me but there is definitely something. Even organising stuff is not helping. Okay, shall start doing some light research then. It will take my mind off the deadlines la.

<3

I've been pretty much bumming around these couple of days. Not to say that I'm exactly free from the clutches of the evil that is schoolwork. :(  I'm still knee-deep in all the projects! & I might sink further in these coming weeks. It's supposed to be the holidays hello??? I need to REST! Even now when I'm resting and catching up on shows and whatnot, I have this uneasy feeling that time is slowly slipping by me, inching away... I can't get that back can I?

Have been bumming around so much so that my mom is insisting I wake up early tomorrow to exercise. Speaking of exercise... I haven't been exercising as much as I would like to. I mean, it's really not that I don't want to. I just don't have as much willpower as I thought I did. Sigh.

Anyway, I've been thinking. I'm 18. 2 years more and I'll be 20! >:(
What do I wanna achieve before I turn 20? So many people have done so many things before they turn 20. I can practically laugh at my non-exciting life; I'm useless! I don't go all the way to pursue my dreams. I doubt myself so often it's funny. I haven't done one thing that I've actually been really proud of. I balk at rejections/failures. I give up half-way. I am nothing but a bummer. I haven't done anything for 18 years for me to look back upon and remember. I am even here now complaining about it. What's the point? WHAT IS THE POINT?!

I cannot cannot cannot, live this way. I have to take risks, seize opportunities, work hard... but this... adrenaline rush will only last me a few days, few hours maybe. I'm just saying all this in a fit of... despair? I hate myself for being this... USELESS.

f this all.

I love Danny500, so reliable when I'm capturing life's greatest moments. And I bet he also agrees with me that he should not be used for camwhoring ahahahaha. Joking la!
More pictures on Facebook / Flickr if you want to see la! :) I'm going to take more during this Christmas / holiday period if I can... but judging by the workload that is steadily piling up... I should think that I will only be spending time in school and not along the roads of Orchard soaking up the Christmas atmosphere. Or even back in Malaysia...

I hope my grandma can understand. I really want to be back in Malaysia for the first year but circumstances have forbidden me to. Or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. It's just that I've missed half of what happened last year... it's so hard when you think of the vulnerability of life and all those missed chances. Totally understand what they mean when they say "you don't appreciate it until it's gone".

Anyway, a happier post soon! :)
I'm back to stay!!

Swifty's getting immortalized in songs now! Wow, first her career skyrocketed, then comes the deals with clothing lines, and now songs about her. What next, PERFUME?!
One can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy... that she's barely 20 and already achieving so much. Kind of puts your life in perspective doesn't it?

:'(

Went out with Ky & Angella today.
Astons-ed & then Plaza Sing.
pictures up soon!!
Well knackered, but I brought Danny out today, so pictures are aplenty!

Oh, and Ky's birthday card for me... since she wants a picture of it so bad. Haha. ;)
xx

Paramore, Singapore, 2010?
http://community.livejournal.com/paramoremusic/9228888.html


I don't want to freak out, but if it's true I'm definitely going. DEFINITELY!!!!!! With everybody because we all love paramore! OMG!!!!!!

Why hello there! :) Yesterday was my birthday and I guess I wasn't too joyous about turning eighteen until it was almost over. But guess what, so many well-wishes and love all around, it perked me up quite a bit, and made me feel that little bit touched. :) Let me recount all the greatness that happened yesterday!!

1st DEC: (lecture day)
Melissa was the first to wish me a happy birthday before lectures! Wooo. I was throughout all the well-wishes like, "thankkkkkssss..." in this monotonic voice. I really do appreciate it, but it just didn't feel like a birthday for me?

Lectures were alright, milo packets from Ky oh yeah! & ethics is actually pretty mind-boggling.

Lunch was totally a bummer, because I had to queue for so damn long, just for the chicken to be fried. It didn't really taste good anyway. :( But the company was good. :) They were talking about long hair, because Angella cut hers and Eugene didn't notice until now, apparently. HAHAHA. I guess short hair is much better for me, because I can't be arsed to keep it long. It's bothersome. Only time I had it was until primary 6... then when it came to Nan Hua, I chopped it all off since I did not want to plait my hair! >:)

PR was short and sweet. Break. WebD, short. Then we ended lectures! I headed up to the radio room with a couple of people and practiced the controls. Well, I only practiced it once in 3 and a half hours actually. Because other people decided to join in our session... :( Well, at least I did alright for the practice.

MIDNIGHT:
The well-wishes start pouring in! :) Quite happy, because some random people facebooked me too ahaha! Then I went to sleep.

MORNING:
Woke up really early groggily but I went back to sleep. I think my mom wished me a happy birthday then though!

Left for school early, thought I could get in some practice before the radio test but in the end I didn't have time. Haha. Ky crashed our session, just to sit behind and work on her Feature Writing. Psh. I don't know... maybe it was the coldness of the room, or me just thinking too much... but I started shivering and shaking and tummy butterflies appeared. I tried jumping it out, but it didn't really work.

When it came to my turn!!!! My palms were all sweaty. I tried to stay calm, but in that circumstance, it's really quite hard. When Mr Mario told me I was doing okay, I really couldn't bring myself to believe him, almost. I guess I started panicking when it came to the weather part... I wanted to fade in my last song, but I adjusted the levels to the highest beforehand, and when I turned on, it was quite an abrupt start (FOR ME) but I quickly brought the volume down, I'm not so sure what happened next but I thought everything went horribly wrong when I turned off my mic and the music in my headphones BLASTED OUT of my ears ahahah. I guess I was totally freaked out, and then Mario came over, and started conducting the WHOLE radio class to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me.

Never in my 18 years of life have I had a whole class sing the birthday song to me, EVER. Well, maybe in kindergarten but that doesn't count since I hardly remember anything. Never. & at that point of time I was still freaking out about my performance... I was just *facepalm*. It was such a sweet gesture I really regretted not immersing myself in the moment. :( But they were all so nice about it! & I did well for my radio test... surprisingly. I learnt one thing though. I cannot receive compliments from anybody 1-on-1, because it is weirdly awkward and unnerving for me, and tears will start welling up in my eyes like it did when I was being told that I did okay but should be more confident... okay... I have to try, but this is really who I am, and I'm always going to be that doubtful of my abilities... I can't be sure of myself... it makes me seem... exposed, vulnerable even.

But enough about that!

Dinner with my mom & sis! @ Citylink New York New York! X) It was pretty awesome, other than the fact that I was just too full after. (even had WAFFLE!!!!)
But they gave me a birthday cup! :D I'm so happy!

Home.
Aunty called, and their family sang the birthday song through the phone for me. AHHHHH.
Cute! :)

& then that was pretty much my 18th.

I guess no matter how much I think I wanna change how I celebrate my birthday, I will never do it once it gets around to it. 16th, 18th, 21st... ha.

Starbucks today cheered me up from a bleak day. Well, not that bleak, but stressful nonetheless.

I've got to survive this December.
2010 is going to be GREAT.
I REALLY WANT IT TO.

x

I'm eighteen, but yet I don't feel so.
I'll update soon okay? It has been an awesome day! :)

I am first and foremost a galaxy defender.
If there's 3 words to describe me, it would be:
mcfly, cameras and travelling.
I have an unhealthy obsession with waffles and teh tarik.
I love acoustic sounds - and I sing.
Also a proud #brookster - Joe Brooks certified!
2012 is going to be the best yet, just wait and see.


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Drown
Last time we went swimming
the sea stood up and hugged you
as though you were responsible
for keeping it blue
Copyright © 2011 Bianca Stewart


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