Oh believe me baby, I...
I haven't exactly been the greatest updater of blogs around, it's like I've lost my interest in writing about day-to-day life. Or perhaps it's because my job requires me to write, so I'm satisfied in the writing department that I do not need to shelve out more time to fill up space here.
In any case, I'm proud to say that I am a poly graduate now! I'm technically pretty much confirmed that I will be going to Melbourne, but somehow the thought of uprooting and moving to a new place (a new continent even) just grips me so hard. The prospect of living on my own is tempting, but am I able to sacrifice my creature comforts and try to man up and become independent? I believe that I have a great small group of friends that will be there to back me up, but I was never one for HUGE change like this.
My cousins did it though. They flew all the way to US largely on their own, with personalities to match the country they were in, and look where they are now. I don't exactly have the mindset they do, but I really want this, I really do.
I want to explore the world, make new friends. I want to throw myself out there, and be a better person because of it. I hope to get myself caught up in the joys of the moment, but something deep down in me is stopping me. It's making me look up and realise that I cannot manage this. It's sowing this doubt in me that's growing and taking control of my vital organs. Now that's a dark force.
In the meanwhile, I'll just continue with my internship~ and see how things goes.
BE MORE CONFIDENT. BE MORE THICK-SKINNED. MORE GUNG-HO and DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE MAY THINK OF YOU. That's how you'll survive.
The conversation's getting stale
If you won't point it out, then I will